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| My Adorable Niece |
Family dinner was a requirement in my house, so was forced family fun day but that is a different blog post. For the most part, no matter what was going on, we always had dinner together. That, of course, changed a little as we got older and had more activities going on, but my dad was never afraid to remind us of our family obligations when we got too busy.
Part of the reason we ate together was so that my mom could ensure that we were eating right, left to our own devices it would have been Hot Pockets and bean and cheese burritos. But, the most important part of family dinner was the bonding that occurred at the dinner table. When I was young we would talk about school, and what was going on at work for my parents. It wasn’t a place where we would get in trouble (unless our elbows were on the table), but we would definitely get called out on our silliness. It was also a place where we learned manners such as please and thank you, how to ask for things to be passed instead of reaching across people, and how to keep our elbows off of the table. As an adult, I still treasure those moments with my family and hope that someday I will be able to have them with my own kids.
Family dinners are an extremely important part of a child’s development. But don’t just take my word for it. According to Anne Fischel PhD, “Recent studies link regular family dinners (5 or more meals a week) with a host of teenage behaviors that parents pray for: lower rates of substance abuse, teen pregnancy, and depression, as well as higher grade-point averages and self-esteem.” (Source) I can tell you that because I had so many opportunities to talk to my parents at dinner, when I got older I never stopped talking to them.
If you are craving that same closeness in your family, or seeking a solution to communication problems then I really think that family dinner is for you! Anne Fischel PhD states “Dinner conversation is a great booster of vocabulary for young children, and stories told around the table about parents and grandparents help to build self-esteem and resilience. The icing on the cake is that regular family meals also lower the rates of obesity and eating disorders in children.” (Source)
To get the conversations rolling at dinner I have made several conversation cards. The rules are that the person who answers the question on the card gets the floor. No interruptions allowed. When that person is done, the floor is then open for comments. When the conversation has moved to a stopping point then you can move on to the next question. There are kits on Amazon that you can buy with plenty more cards, they are called Table Topics, or you can even make them with your children. All you need are index cards and pencils. Just have your children write down questions to share at dinner. What an amazing way to get to know what your children are thinking about!
Conversation cards not for you? Try my family’s tradition. My youngest brother would ask us three questions, what is the best thing that happen to you today, what is the worst thing that happen to you today, and what are looking forward to tomorrow. I have also heard those phrased as what is your rose, what is your thorn, and what is your bud. It doesn’t matter how you do it, just get the conversation started.
I would love to hear about your experiences, and if you already do family dinner then I want to hear about your traditions! Please leave your stories in the comments, or if you have pictures to share feel free to email them to me at FunwithFreckleFace@gmail.com. Happy dining!
For more information on the importance of family dinner as well as some great ideas please check out these articles:
As far as our family dinners, I don't really remember much of what we talked about, but I remember the feeling. We didn't have a questions system, and just sort of talked. However, it was guaranteed to would end in a napkin ball fight. After the meal was over of course...well, almost over anyway. It has continued to this day. My dad recently asked us kids if we would ever grow out of picking on each other, or throwing napkins, and I certainly hope not.
ReplyDeleteI really love the idea of the 3 questions, I had seen it recently somewhere else and I think it tells so much so simply...kind of like chocolate ice cream. Mmmmm. Thank you for the reminder of how important family dinner is!