Every family has their own bedtime routine, and I have participated in my fair share of them. I have done everything from warming up a glass of milk for a child, to saying goodnight to each and every one of the stuffed animals in a child's room, along with pictures of grandparents. Most routines include a story, sometimes the same one over and over again, and sometimes the child gets to choose. Some routines include a song, and sometimes it is even a song you don't know. My point is that everyone does something different, something that works for them, and children enjoy consistency. Consistency is especially important when it is a new person putting the child the bed! It makes them feel safe in an unfamiliar situation. Let me share with you the time that I learned a very valuable bedtime lesson.
I was young, a newer babysitter, but it wasn't my first time at the rodeo. I asked all of the right questions (I thought) before the parents left, and had a list of emergency numbers just in case. I was babysitting a one year old boy who had barely started talking, and was certainly a handful. We had a fun evening of building towers and knocking them down, playing cars, and coloring with the bath paints that I had brought. After dinner and bath time, it was time for bed.
I got him in his pajamas and read the book that his mom had left out for us. Then rocked that sweet boy to the point of exhaustion. As I laid him in his crib to sleep, he cracked open one little eye and whispered "no." "Shhhhhh," I said, "It's time to go sleep." Both eyes popped open. "No," he said. I tried to shush him again, rubbing his back to try and get him back to sleep. He sat up, panicked and started yelling "NO!" After several minutes he was still screaming, tears streaming down that innocent face. I interpreted this as him being freaked out that it was me putting him to bed and not his parents. I gave in and picked him up to cuddle, but he thrashed, and screamed, and eventually squirmed his way to the ground.
At this point, both of us are crying. I felt defeated. What was I doing wrong? I had done everything his mom had said, he was practically asleep when I put him down! As I sat on the ground contemplating my next move, the little boy walked over to his toy bin, plucked out a teddy bear and held it up, saying "no." When I picked him up again, he lay his head down on my shoulder, one arm wrapped tightly around the bear, the other around me. This time when I put him in his crib, he rolled over with the teddy bear and fell straight to sleep.
Confused, but extremely relieved I walked back out to the living room to wait for his parents. When his mom and dad got home, I told them about our evening of fun together and then explained the stressful bedtime situation. The mother was mortified. As detailed as I had been with my questioning, and as detailed as she had been with her instructions, she had left out one very important thing. This little boy liked to sleep with a bear, and the name of his little teddy bear was No.
The moral of the story: make sure you talk about the bedtime rituals, including the names of bedtime toys!
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