5 tips to the perfect babysitter/nanny

As more and more of my friends become moms, I am constantly asked the question, "How do I find a good babysitter or nanny?"  Having been on both sides of the interview multiple times (I have hired my replacement several times), here are the tips I usually give them:

1.) Look into a service, but don't be afraid of Craigslist!
Every single nanny job that I have ever gotten, I have gotten from craigslist.  I usually write an ad about who I am, and what I have to offer, and I'll often include a picture.  This usually gets me several interviews.  Trust me, craigslist is full to the brim with trustworthy college kids who would love to work with you and your family.

2.) Look for an ad that states your specific needs, or write your own and wait for the responses to flow in.
 One of the families that I was a nanny with for almost 4 years wrote in their ad that they wanted a creative person, who knew how to bake, was crafty, and was familiar with all of the Disney princesses.  This is exactly who I am, and I just knew it was the perfect fit.  In my response to this ad I made sure to touch on each of those requirements and why I fit their needs.  I was hired by that family, and those girls were in my wedding!

3.) Interview them with your child present.
This is your chance to find out if you like them and the way they interact with your child.  If your child is cowering the entire time the person is there and never warms up, then that person is not for you.  On the other hand, if your child keeps interrupting the interview to share things or play with the person, then they deserve to move on to the next step.

3.) Be brutally honest
Don't be vague about your expectations.  If you want them to go to the park three times a week then you need to say that.  If you think it is important that they be able to prepare homemade baby food for your child, then you need to state that during your interview.  If you are looking for a person to become a part of your family, tell them.  In one of my first interviews the mom told me to leave my drama at the door.  She also told me that if I was late more than three times without calling, to just not bother showing up the next time because I had fired myself through my actions.  I was never late to that job, and I never came in crying no matter what.

4.) Talk about payment up front
Please do not put the babysitter in the awkward position of asking how much the job will pay.  Just be forward with them, but open for negotiation.  As I got older and more experienced, this part got easier.  When I first started, I never would have negotiated my fee.  Now I go into an interview knowing what I want.  If it is too far from what the family is willing to offer, then I know that we aren't a good fit.  On the other hand, if what they are offering is close to what I'm looking for, then I know that we can work together.  Just try and be fair, ask friends what they are paying, and go from there.

5.) The first time you have someone babysit you should be there
I don't mean you should be there to greet them and then take off, I mean you should be there the whole time.  This allows the babysitter the opportunity to ask questions and the children to get used to the new person in your presence.  This tip is seriously invaluable!  And just remember, even though you are there, you still have to pay the sitter this time.

The most important tip is to simply trust your gut!  If there is anything you don't like about a person, then don't hire them, it is as simple as that.  I hope that this helps, and that you all find your perfect babysitter or nanny.  I have formed invaluable friendships with the many families that I have been a nanny for, and even have fond memories of my own childhood babysitter.  She's the one that taught me how to blow a bubble with chewing gum!  Best of luck finding the perfect fit for your family!

Already have the perfect baby sitter or nanny?  I want to know what makes him/her perfect for your family.  Please tell me in the comments.

A Bedtime Story with a Moral

Every family has their own bedtime routine, and I have participated in my fair share of them.  I have done everything from warming up a glass of milk for a child, to saying goodnight to each and every one of the stuffed animals in a child's room, along with pictures of grandparents.  Most routines include a story, sometimes the same one over and over again, and sometimes the child gets to choose.  Some routines include a song, and sometimes it is even a song you don't know.  My point is that everyone does something different, something that works for them, and children enjoy consistency.  Consistency is especially important when it is a new person putting the child the bed!  It makes them feel safe in an unfamiliar situation.  Let me share with you the time that I learned a very valuable bedtime lesson.

I was young, a newer babysitter, but it wasn't my first time at the rodeo.  I asked all of the right questions (I thought) before the parents left, and had a list of emergency numbers just in case.  I was babysitting a one year old boy who had barely started talking, and was certainly a handful.  We had a fun evening of building towers and knocking them down, playing cars, and coloring with the bath paints that I had brought.  After dinner and bath time, it was time for bed. 

 I got him in his pajamas and read the book that his mom had left out for us. Then rocked that sweet boy to the point of exhaustion.  As I laid him in his crib to sleep, he cracked open one little eye and whispered "no."  "Shhhhhh," I said, "It's time to go sleep."  Both eyes popped open.  "No," he said.  I tried to shush him again, rubbing his back to try and get him back to sleep.  He sat up, panicked and started yelling "NO!"  After several minutes he was still screaming, tears streaming down that innocent face.  I interpreted this as him being freaked out that it was me putting him to bed and not his parents.  I gave in and picked him up to cuddle, but he thrashed, and screamed, and eventually squirmed his way to the ground. 

 At this point, both of us are crying.  I felt defeated.  What was I doing wrong?  I had done everything his mom had said, he was practically asleep when I put him down!  As I sat on the ground contemplating my next move, the little boy walked over to his toy bin, plucked out a teddy bear and held it up, saying "no."  When I picked him up again, he lay his head down on my shoulder, one arm wrapped tightly around the bear, the other around me.  This time when I put him in his crib, he rolled over with the teddy bear and fell straight to sleep.

Confused, but extremely relieved I walked back out to the living room to wait for his parents.  When his mom and dad got home, I told them about our evening of fun together and then explained the stressful bedtime situation.  The mother was mortified.  As detailed as I had been with my questioning, and as detailed as she had been with her instructions, she had left out one very important thing.  This little boy liked to sleep with a bear, and the name of his little teddy bear was No.

The moral of the story: make sure you talk about the bedtime rituals, including the names of bedtime toys!